PHOTO: RUPAK ROY
There are no suns, moons or stars in you-
neither the ocean, no sky nor even a firefly
ever made any presence about your being,
yet I hear your silent steps in my heart.
Your lips are the exotic trees with rare blossoms-
that unfurl their petals not in profusion
to drown me in colors or perfume,
yet I feel their soft touch in my core.
You are no flower but a hardened rock-
that rose above brine water of the eyes
of my broken self in a broken world.
You rise as did our Himalayas-
with the warm heart in layers of snow
while I am a pebble of prayer.
Posted for dVerse MTB ~ Neruda and the free sonnet hosted by Bjorn Rudberg
&
Shared with Poetry Pantry #367 @ Poets United
Your last tercet is very strong–the poem really shines, sporting internal rhyme as if it couldn’t help itself–another strong ingredient of unfettered free verse; yet you still give us the taste of Neruda-through your unique personal perceptions nd lovely6 word-smithing. I liked the line /yet I hear your silent steps in my heart/.
I like the last stanza with the pebble of prayer, the warm heart layered with snow and the rising Himalayas.
I agree that the last tercet really sums it up,… but the build up with the initial quatrains brings such harmony. Great work
Sumana, this is just stellar
This is wonderful, Sumana! I’ve experienced these feelings not unlike the Himalayas and it’s
unnerving and delicious at the same time. Last stanza a killer.
Oh I Love that mountain to pebble comparison!
It all comes together in those tercets, which I am crazy about! Very nice writing, Sumana!
Every line is a joy to read. When I got to the ending: while I am a pebble of prayer.
I was cheering BRAVA!!! Beautiful sonnet Sumana ~
I enjoyed reading and re-reading this. the last tercet is amazing. It sums up the whole poem incredibly.
Beautiful lines….joy…..!!!
Wonderful! A 14-line masterpiece.
This truly is a beautiful meditation, Sumana. I love the idea of being a ‘pebble of prayer.’
Sumana,, this is a spectacular poem. I wish i had written it. The warm heart under the snow, the rising under the brine water of the eyes, and “i am a pebble of prayer”. Absolutely beautiful. Wow.
“I feel their soft touch in my core.” This contrast to the smothering, to the strength of rock, to the height above the soft heart, this is a power unsurpassed! I love this poem! May I use it in next month’s Love Poetry and Spirituality workshop? It’ll inspire participants to s-t-r-e-t-c-h for their truths.
Oh thanks Susan. Sure, sure.
Thank you!
This has your soft touch all over it… love the himalayas vs pebble of prayer…reminds me of prayer beads…beautiful.
I particularly like the closing lines in this haunting poem
I can only echo what has already been said. The mightiness of the Himalayas, and yet a pebble of prayer is also mighty.
Beautiful!💘 Especially love; “Your lips are the exotic trees with rare blossoms- that unfurl their petals not in profusion to drown me in colors or perfume, yet I feel their soft touch in my core.”💘
This is a mgnificent poem, so beautifully expessive in its descriptions and full of emotion.
So many startling images in this poems, but the last—a person as a pebble of prayer—is the most startling (and charming) of all.
A beautiful poem, deep in its meaning or meandering meanings. A precious rock that rises above the tears of my eyes. Thank you, Sumana.
There is no doubt about the magnificence and majesty of the awe inspiring Himalayas but as one pebble to another, I feel most comfortable and identify best with the smallest pebble:)
Beautiful as usual…
Beautiful word imagery!
I really adore this one Sumana and it’s ending is sublime!
Thoughts and reflections so beautifully illustrated
Wonderful work, here. You have intrigued me with this free verse sonnet form. Lovely writing.
The ending is truly wonderful, to be a pebble of prayer.
This is so beautiful. It went deep into my heart. Pebble of Pray.
Marvelous poetry.
You rise as did our Himalayas-
with the warm heart in layers of snow
Like the way the sentence is structured, getting the opposites to be together. The ‘warm’ heart as opposed to the ‘cold’ of the snow.
Hank
Such gorgeous images, Sumana. I love the contrasts in the metaphors.